Right Wing Limericks

by Al Bienstock

CHOOSING AN AMENDMENT

"Lerner takes the Fifth." That headline burst
On the media scene. But the worst
Was not what she said there.
What did Lerner not share?
It was "after trampling on the First."

The Daily Caller, 5/22/13: "Lois Lerner, head of the IRS tax exempt organizations division, told the House Oversight Committee that she had done nothing wrong before invoking her Fifth Amendment right to remain silent and not testify." Thanks to blogger @TPPatriots for the quote.

OPEN AND SHUT CASE?

Obama says he wants Gitmo closed.
Yet the Pentagon brass just proposed
A huge renovation -
No spending cessation -
Half-a-billion... taxpayers get hosed.

Christian Science Monitor, 5/23/13: "President Obama is renewing his stalled effort to close the military detention center, Guantanamo Bay US Naval Station, Cuba... This week, the Pentagon asked Congress for more than $450 million for maintaining and upgrading Guantanamo."

HOLDER TO INVESTIGATE... HOLDER

While IRS flames rage, not smolder,
Barack's getting dumber or bolder -
Holder should be removed...
FOX warrants he approved
But who investigates Holder? It's Holder.

Breitbart.com, 5/23/13: "A law enforcement official has told NBC News that Attorney General Eric Holder is the one who signed the search warrant for the private emails of Fox News reporter James Rosen."

abc NEWS, 5/23/13: "President Obama... ordered Attorney General Eric Holder to conduct a 45-day review of the department's guidelines on the issue."

UPWARD MOBILITY

Elevators will descend or rise
With a button-push. So is it wise
To pay folks to do it
And add bonuses to it?
Push the right button, win a cash prize.

The Weekly Standard, 5/20/13: "'Push the correct button, win a cash prize.' That might sound like an outdated carnival game, but it actually describes government employment. Uncle Sam shelled out more than $1.2 million to pay operators to man the Capitol's fully automated senators-only elevators over the last five years, according to reports from the secretary of the Senate."

WHAT HE BROUGHT

What did Obama bring to DC?
Something even the left can now see.
With the folks who've been caught,
You see Obama's brought
Old-time Chicago-style thuggery.

PLEADING THE FIFTH

Lois Lerner exercised her right -
Pleading the Fifth - not to self-indict.
That's perfectly legit
But I infer, from it,
She's as guilty as thieves in the night.

Daily Caller, 5/22/13: Lois Lerner told the House investigating committee "I have not done anything wrong." She then refused to answer any questions, pleading Fifth Amendment rights.