Pennsylvania's Marketplace of Ideas

Right Wing Limericks

by Al Bienstock

GOOD SHOPPERS (5/29/13)

My wife is really a good shopper.
Eric Holder, we've found, can top her -
While my wife makes good buys
Holder judge-shops with lies
And for James Rosen, he told a whopper.

FOX News, 5/29/13: "It was revealed Friday that Holder personally signed off on seeking a subpoena for Fox reporter James Rosen's emails and phone logs... The latest report indicates that Holder went to three different federal judges as he sought a warrant for Rosen's emails." In order to "justify" the warrant, it alleged that Rosen was an "abettor and co-conspirator" in a criminal action.

DEAD BAY STATERS CHOOSE BUCKS OVER VOTES (5/29/13)

We know that the dead vote in Philly.
In the Bay State, they think that's silly.
Their deceased, instead,
Get welfare checks, though dead,
(A practice some of us find chilly).

FOX News, 3/29/13: "A state audit revealed that Massachusetts has given out $18 million in 'questionable public assistance benefits' in recent years, in cases that included more than 1,160 people who were either dead or using the Social Security number of a deceased person."

THE MIGHTY PEN (5/30/13)

A pen in the hand of Barack would be
More dangerous, indubitably,
Than guns in every hand -
Everywhere in this land -
Of law-abiding citizenry.

Peoria Journal Star editorial: "A pen in the hand of this president is more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."

MEET THE PRESS (5/30/13)

Eric Holder wants to meet the press
Off the record to explain his mess.
The press should stay away
But he should have his day...
In a court where his crimes he should address.

CNN Politics, 5/30/13: "Attorney General Eric Holder's plans to sit down with media representatives to discuss guidelines for handling investigations into leaks to the news media have run into trouble. The Associated Press issued a statement Wednesday objecting to plans for the meetings to be off the record...."