Things That Make Me Laugh: Campus Edition

The University of California system has declared war on microaggressions.

What’s a microaggression?

"Microaggression" is a pseudo-word contrived by hypersensitive, progressive feminist and minority "activists" to declare ordinary, commonly-occurring expressions and behaviors as somehow offensive.

In other words, the grievance industry — groups of uptight, hair-trigger, aggressive malcontents — has carried its campaigns against normalcy to another illogical conclusion and beclowned itself — again.

UCal has published a guide to "Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send" which defines "microaggressions" as "the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, …intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership…" (Deep breath…)

Concerned that you may unintentionally offend? UCal provides an awareness itinerary: "The first step in addressing microaggressions is to recognize when a microaggression has occurred and what message it may be sending."

Some examples:

It’s wrong – on both counts – to say, "There is only one race, the human race," or "America is a melting pot." According to UCal, these statements "Deny… the significance of a person of color’s racial/ethnic experience and history." and "…the individual as a racial/cultural being." (Whatever that means…)

Never say, "I’m not racist. I have several Black friends." (Black friends or not, if you’re white, you’re racist.)

Ladies (is "ladies" microaggresive?) receive special instructions. UCal frets that saying "As a woman, I know what you go through as a racial minority" tells blacks that "your racial oppression is no different than my gender oppression." (Ladies, you may think you’re oppressed, but don’t dare piggyback on the double oppression of your black sisters. If you’re white, you’re still partially-privileged.)

Other "microaggessions" include:

"I believe the most qualified person should get the job." (Clearly discriminatory.)

"Being forced to choose Male or Female when completing basic forms." (Exacerbates Caitlyn Jenner’s confusion.)

"A person asks a woman her age and, upon hearing she is 31, looks quickly at her ring finger." (Don’t prowling males always sneak looks at ring fingers?)

"Shows surprise when a feminine woman turns out to be a lesbian." (Conversely, should one pretend surprise when a masculine woman admits she’s a lesbian?)

"Labeling an assertive female committee chair/dean as a ‘b____,’ while describing a male counterpart as a ‘forceful leader.’" (Agreed. All habitually-unpleasant people should be labeled using non-gender-specific vulgarities.)

Saying that "Men and women have equal opportunities for achievement" tells women that, "if they do not make it, the problem is with them." (What does saying it tell men who "do not make it?")
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"America is the land of opportunity, you can get ahead if you work hard." (Confusing: Is recognizing more than two centuries of American opportunity the "microaggression?" Or is "work hard" offensive?)

Californians involuntarily underwrite UCal’s amusing, overly-earnest asininity. California taxpayers – and society — would be better served if the state’s large public university system worried more about overt left-wing macro-aggressions against ordinary Americans – and delivering more-affordable, higher-quality education.