Washington Glossary and Phrasebook

Words have meanings, and using words inaccurately has consequences – everywhere but in Washington.

There, ordinary words are used, probably intentionally, in ways that are difficult to understand and even meaningless to most Americans. After all, a confused public is a more compliant public.

Televised on C-SPAN, debates on bills considered at the 11th hour in both houses of the pre-holiday lame duck Congress provided excellent illustrations of language irregularities. In coverage of the DREAM Act and tax-policy debates, especially, attentive viewers repeatedly heard common English words and phrases, ordinary words, that deviated from normal usage.

Interestingly, the politicians delivering the words often appeared to be simultaneously certain, yet halting, occasionally bewildered and even misinformed. This phenomenon cannot be attributed to inexperience. Talking is most politicians’ stock in trade.

One suspects that some congressional speakers are aware of the deficiencies or unpopularity of their arguments and that, over time, they have developed their own pidgin variation of English to conceal those inadequacies.

The English spoken by official Washington is understood only by the political class – until now.

To inform newer viewers of televised congressional proceedings, I’ve gathered some commonly occurring congressional words and phrases from the lame-duck session, analyzed them in context to determine their true meanings and begun to compile a Washington Glossary and Phrasebook.

Here are some examples that convert Washington-speak to standard English:
With all due respect – I mean no respect at all.

Spending – A word often implied but rarely articulated in Washington unless followed by the word "cuts" or preceded by the word "offsets," as in:

1. Spending cuts – Freezing or marginally reducing the rate of increase in spending, and:

2. Offsets to spending – Tax increases.

Paying for a bill – Increasing taxes.

Without paying for a bill – Without increasing taxes (borrowing).

Investment – Spending. (On anything. Taxpayer value should never be assumed.)

Stimulus – (Usually massive) Deficit spending.

Revenue enhancements – Tax increases.

Tax cut for the wealthiest 1 percent – Not increasing taxes on the wealthiest 1 percent.

Bonus tax cut to millionaires and billionaires – See: "Tax cut for the wealthiest 1 percent."

Calamitous consequences – A certain, though unspecified, outcome of failing to increase taxes.

King’s ransom – Any dollar amount in taxes the government forgoes.

Only 1 percent of the budget – Chump change, or $20 billion to $30 billion annually. (A unique Washington term commonly, but not exclusively, applied to the value of congressional earmarks.)

Grow the economy and create jobs – Borrow or print and senselessly spend money (See: Investment.)

Voice vote – A vote for which all members have plausible deniability.

Recession – Full employment when the opposition occupies the White House.

Recovery – 9.8 percent unemployment (or more) when your party holds the presidency.

Undocumented immigrants – Illegal aliens, a/k/a, lawbreakers, a/k/a, potential sympathetic voters.

Fairness – Various applications including, but not limited to, amnesty for "undocumented immigrants," labor-union control of the economy, homeownership for the indigent, etc.

It’s for the children – It’s for the adults, or, at least, some adults.

Omnibus bill – a massive, consolidated spending bill allowing Congress to hide just about anything from voters, especially pork.

Policy guidance – Government regulations and mandates.

Extended unemployment benefits – Additional incentives for some to put off seeking work.

Federal budget process – There is no clear process and, accordingly, no meaningful definition. In fact, there is no budget for Fiscal Year 2011, even though, based on the FY 2010 baseline, the deficit for the year will exceed $1 trillion – again.

Doing nothing is not an option – A common Washington phrase meant to convey urgency immediately preceding 1 or following 2:

1) It’s a "Must Pass" bill – a) the political class wants it; b) it’s loaded with earmarks; c) generous special interests want it; or, most likely, d) all of the above.

2) We must do something – We want to do something. (Note to political class: Doing nothing is always an option – and often the best option.)

Aside from alibis, few politicians have ever been known for their imaginations, but language is another exception. Its seemingly infinite word combinations make English uniquely expressive. Our language is easily misused by politicians who employ it deceptively to fool the gullible and inattentive among us.

In official Washington, the language is as imprecise as the accounting. If national politicians are to be held accountable for their words, American voters must understand Washington usage.

Shenk was involved in Frank Ryan’s campaign for U.S. Congress. He is co-editor of the Rebuilding America, Federalist Papers 2 website, www.federalistpapers2.org. E-mail: [email protected].
http://www.ldnews.com/ci_17274346