Two weeks ago I informed readers that certain named liberals have made me laugh – at least when they’re not ruining institutions, cities, counties, states and the nation.
As a larger group, though, the American left embraces many amusing absurdities, not the least of which is their extravagant use of the common language to obscure their biases and the actual objectives of their political/social/cultural affectations and policy preferences.
“Effete pseudo-intellectual liberal politicians, media, entertainers, educators (sadly) and ‘wokesters’…have made the language nearly unrecognizable to people who learned English vocabulary/grammar thirty-plus years ago, and whose ‘archaic’ English dictionaries lack modern (mis)usages.”
Today, the left is busy replacing America’s constitutional guarantee of “equality” with a far more nebulous term: “equity.”
The left’s corruption of “equity” is designed to produce outcomes they prefer by discarding objectively equal processes, e.g., birth-gender-exclusive athletic competitions and basing college admission on SAT scores, and, instead, promoting favoritism based on less-precise personal criteria such as race, gender and ethnicity.
More from February: “Today, in hopeless pursuit of ‘equity,’ liberals have replaced meritocracy with race, class and gender obsessions that effectively redefine the word ‘inclusive’ to mean a universal individual requirement – no exceptions – to endorse and allow preferences for members of allegedly ‘marginalized’ or ‘persecuted’ groups.
“The concept, known as ‘intersectionality’, features a bizarre system of inverse oppression ‘superiority’ in which ‘oppressed’ identity groups ranked higher on the ‘oppression’ scale, that is, the less-oppressed, are, axiomatically, oppressors of those lower in the hierarchy.”
That silliness, alone, is laughable.
Frankly, there was far too much ground to cover in one February item, so here are a few additional translations from the left’s linguistic tool kit:
On left/right interrelationships:
- “Dialogue” – a monolog where the left explains and the right agrees.
- “Unity” – when everyone agrees with the left.
- “Debate” – shouting down anyone who disagrees with a liberal.
- “This isn’t a partisan issue!” – Shut up!
- “Growth” – the process of becoming more liberal over time.
- “Far right” – anyone who opposes anything the left favors.
- “Alt-right” – catch-all term: anyone the left despises, but for no coherent reason.
- “Literally Hitler” – anyone to the right of Ernesto “Che” Guevara.
- “The rich” – anyone who makes one buck/year more than a liberal.
- “Racism” – any opposition to the left’s agenda.
- “White” – every Republican voter, regardless of race or ethnicity.
On government and elections:
- “Democracy” – any system of government or voting that enables liberals to have their own way.
- “Living constitution” – one that says whatever liberals want it to say.
- “Threat to democracy” – 1) When conservatives win elections; 2) laws that make it difficult for Democrats to cheat.
- “Landslide” – anytime a liberal Democrat wins election by 1 percent or less.
- “Squeaker” anytime a conservative Republican wins by 15 percent or more.
In higher education:
- “Student loan forgiveness” – dumping the contractual obligations of freeloading, worthless degree recipients on the backs of unsuspecting, hardworking taxpayers.
In liberal media:
- “Mostly peaceful demonstrations” – Community-destroying left-liberal riots
- “Lacks context” – true, but embarrasses Democrats.
- “Sources say…” – fabrication to follow.
- “Disinformation” – 1) something that will be proven accurate, but, with luck, only after they’ve changed the subject; 2) Anything a conservative says.
- “Debunked” – verified by evidence not appearing in left-wing media.
- “Affirmative action” – discriminating against one group of people to curry favor with another.
- “Latinx” – what appears immediately before “Latiny” and “Latinz.”
- “Free speech” – when leftists burn the flag or firebomb public buildings.
- “Violence” – any expression of conservative ideas.
- “Gun safety” – gun confiscation.
- “Child” – a legal adult under 21 who wants to buy a firearm.
- “Adult” – a 12 year-old who wants to have his or her genitalia removed.
- “Gender affirmation” – sex change.
- “Women’s health care” – abortion, the killing of unborn children.
- “It’s for the children” – it’s for the adults, or, at least, some adults.
- “Settled science” – political science.
The February column observed that, “Years ago, earning a reasonable living in most fields required an ability to speak and write Standard English, so schools taught it, and teachers graded students on proper usage. Back then, words had meaning, and misusing them had consequences.
But liberals might be convinced to stop spouting linguistic absurdities if enough normal people mock them enough.
So, laugh. It’s good for the soul – and for America.