Pigs, and Parrots, and Pooches, Oh my!
In PA state government is a zoo
Perhaps it is because agriculture is Pennsylvania’s number one industry that we have such a fascination with animals and animal analogies when it comes to state government. Then again, maybe it is because our elected officials have turned the process into such a zoo that the animal fixation is so appropriate.
Animals have always played a part in the legislative process. We have official state critters of various species. It seems though, that over the past few months, animals have played a much larger role than usual in the normally staid proceedings under and around the Capitol dome.
It all began with the middle-of-the-night pay-jacking that has energized politics in the Keystone state since early July. Since many of our legislators acted like pigs at the trough, the repeal the pay raise movement has adopted the cuddly pink animal as its symbol. A blow up pig has since embarked on a tour of the commonwealth, showing up at legislative offices and at venues where legislative fundraisers are being held.
If there were a pecking order to animal symbolism, the pig would be at the top of the, err, food chain. It achieved superstar status when House Speaker John Perzel unwittingly delivered a speech to a group of elementary school students while standing in front of a bulletin board adorned with several dozen pink construction paper cut-outs of pigs. That picture was worth far more than a thousand words.
Speaker Perzel, again unwittingly, put the dairy cow in the spotlight when he claimed migrant cow milkers in Lancaster County made more money than your devoted legislators. The claim was ridiculous, and a barnyard brawl ensued. I’ll bet Mr. Perzel felt a bit sheepish about that incident.
Not to let Republicans get ahead of them in animal symbolism, the Democrats sent forth Lt. Governor Catherine Baker Knoll. Knoll got herself into trouble by violating state rules prohibiting pets from riding in official state vehicles. It seems the commonwealth’s second pooch routinely accompanies the Lt. Governor to work and hitches a ride in her limousine. (At least she doesn’t lie to school children about riding in a limousine.)
Knoll’s next effort to commune with nature caused an even bigger flap. The Pittsburgh Aviary sent a singing parrot named Grocho to the Senate chamber, over which Knoll presides, in an effort to lobby for more state money. After introducing Grocho, Knoll allowed the bodacious bird to entertain the Senate as it sang “How Much is that Doggie in the Window” and other selected tunes. While this was more interesting than a Vince Fumo speech, it proved an affront the dignity of the chamber in such a way to ruffle the feathers of Senate President Pro Tempore Bob Jubelirer who took Knoll to task for allowing the show to go on. (Note: the Pittsburgh Aviary is not in Senator Jubelirer’s district.)
Knoll needs to take a lesson from Governor Edward G. Robinson on proper way to integrate our feathered friends into state government. The governor keeps his favorite birds, the Eagles, out of the capitol and on the football field. Not only does this not offend Senator Jubelirer, but it gets him out of the house on Sunday and provides him with a fallback career in the event Lynn Swann (or another player on Team GOP) sacks him for a loss next November.
A former state representative once famously observed that serving in the legislature was like “being in college, but with money.” If an aspiring Hollywood filmmaker decides to make a blockbuster motion picture out of the antics of Pennsylvania’s politicians, perhaps they can make it a sequel to one of the greatest college films of all times and title it: Animal House II.
(Lowman S. Henry is Chairman & CEO of the Lincoln Institute of Public Opinion Research, and host of the weekly Lincoln Radio Journal. His e-mail address is [email protected].)
