The Perfect Woman

Columnist : Albert Paschall

Suppose God set out to make the perfect woman? I know a guy isn’t supposed to write about perfect women in 2005 but let’s just say that it was God’s idea and assume that He’s a he what would He make of her?

He’d make her smart. Smart enough to earn a doctorate in International Studies. Smart enough to be provost of one of the nation’s leading universities, managing a $1.5 billion budget, 1500 faculty members and 14,000 students, after co-authoring 3 major books on international relations. She would correctly predict, long before it happened, that the Czech Republic would be the key lynch pin in breaking the Soviet strangle hold on Eastern Europe.

He’d give her talent. Make her a classic pianist playing concerts with renowned musicians like Yo-Yo Ma in front of huge audiences.

He’d give her experience that would lead to strength. He’d give her parents and grandparents who happened to be African-American and were active in the Civil Rights movement of the 1950s and ‘60s. They taught her the value of just how hard it was to earn their heritage and birthrights, a kind of patriotism that too few Americans appreciate and too many take for granted.

She’d have other great teachers. A guy named Ronald Reagan would read her books and make her his director of policy on relations with the Soviet Union and East Germany in the 1980s. Three years after her appointment the citizens of Berlin tore down an infamous wall and the bankruptcy of Soviet Communism was assured.

Give her some business savvy. It’s one thing to run a college but put her on the boards of some international companies that have huge foreign interests so she’ll know what she’s up against. JP Morgan and HP are good for starters but add 6 more to round out the experience.

And while He’s at it make her drop dead gorgeous. A classic beauty with a sense of style. The lady can wear blue jeans or designer gowns with equal ease on national television at any time of the day.

Actually God has already accomplished this task. Her name is Dr. Condoleezza Rice and she’s destined, despite the nonsense she took last week from Democrats on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, to be the next Secretary of State. Democratic Senators Biden, Kerry and Boxer ripped into Dr. Rice’s reputation with the impunity that only United States Senators seem to enjoy. She was even criticized for being bored during the hearings. Who can blame her? If Biden, Boxer and Kerry added their intellectual capacity together they’d only come up with about half of Dr. Rice’s wits. Of that Biden would contribute 2/3 and Kerry the rest. Boxer who once opined that people that were killed in a California earthquake: ‘had their lives changed forever’ was particularly vicious in her attacks on Dr. Rice. Hell hath no fury like a woman whose party has been pulverized.

God also gave Doctor Rice ambition. She says that someday she’d like to be commissioner of the National Football League. Now that makes for the perfect woman but I hope she passes that idea by. Imagine just 46 short months from now Madame Secretary Condoleezza Rice, Ph.D. is on the ballot to be the President of the United States. The Democratic candidate is Senator Hilary Rodham-Clinton. If God has already made the perfect woman, a guy is allowed to have a fantasy about her, isn’t he?

In the meantime the Democrats in the Senate ought to thank the one God who made us all that she’s willing to take the job at this critical time. After all, the NFL pays a lot better than the Department of State.

Albert Paschall
Senior Commentator
The Lincoln Institute of Public Opinion Research, Inc.

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